When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops

Amazon.com: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?: 8601234610496: Carlin, George: Books

Following closely on the heels of George Carlin’s1 Best-selling author in the New York Times The films Napalm, Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? are all imbued with Carlin’s typical caustic humor and stinging cultural insights, and they are all directed by Carlin. We’re back at it again. With When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, George Carlin gives his cutting-edge ideas and observational comedy on everything from deceptive euphemism language to politicians, the media, and even dead people in his funny book.

Despite the present atmosphere of political correctness, Carlin is not hesitant to tackle contentious issues such as these:

  • When it comes to the media, Carlin says, “It’s a mix of business and politics
  • Advertising
  • Public relations
  • And the entertainment industry.” This is a good mix. There’s enough bull in Texas to start a network of branch offices, and On the struggle of the sexes, Carlin says: Here’s all you need to know about males and females: Women are insane, and men are oblivious. And the most important reason why women are insane is because men are stupid
  • Carlin has something to say about hygiene: When did they enact a legislation mandating that the individuals who prepare my sandwich do it with protective gloves on? This is something I’m not comfortable with. There should be no glove residue on my meal
  • This is unsanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been hiding all these time
  • Carlin’s take on evasive language is as follows: To give you an idea of how far the use of euphemisms in language has progressed, some psychologists are now referring to persons who are physically unattractive as having “severe appearance deficiencies.” Greetings, Doctor. What do you think of that for “denial”? Regarding politics, Carlin stated that no self-respecting politician would ever acknowledge to having a government job. They like to conceive of themselves as “serving the nation,” rather than as individuals. You might want to image the activities that take place on a stud farm in order to better understand the service they bring to the country.

Carlin, the comic for the thinking person who wields words as weapons, gives voice to subjects that are now capturing the public’s mind. For example, what is the significance of the Ten Commandments? Is it true that UFOs exist? What will life be like in the actual world in the future? When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? is a brand-new compilation that addresses all of these issues and more. In his razor-sharp remarks, Carlin demolishes common ideals and leaves you laughing aloud—exactly what his many admirers have been waiting for.

Amazon.com: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (Audible Audio Edition): George Carlin, George Carlin, Hyperion AudioBooks: Books

Carlin, the comic for the thinking person who wields language as a weapon, gives voice to subjects that are now capturing the public’s interest. As an example, what is the significance of the Ten Commandments? Whether or not UFOs exist is a question. Who knows what the true future will hold. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? is a brand-new compilation that addresses all of that and more. Carlin’s razor-sharp remarks destroy ordinary ideals and leave you laughing aloud, providing exactly what his many admirers have been waiting for: a new Carlin comedy special.

  • Knowing the type of guy you never see anymore is essential. A jerk
  • “Always make an effort not to get murdered.” is a wonderful slogan to live by. Until now, I’ve never seen a homeless man with a bottle of Gatorade in his possession. The fact that a lot of homosexual guys remain in the closet is due to their passion in fashion. I have a personal trainer who is an animal. Our first meeting is in the gym, where we don’t speak, he works out alone, and I go home
  • Here’s something you won’t be able to accomplish by yourself: Shaking hands is something you should become used to. When it comes to the existence of God, I’m neither an atheist nor an agnostic
  • Instead, I’m a believer. My name is an acrostic. I’m perplexed by the entire situation
  • It’s a good day for older citizens: Death is on the horizon
  • O.J. Simpson has already got the ultimate punishment: he was sentenced to death. He will be forced to mingle with golfers for the rest of his life.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Quotes by George Carlin

Find and share inspirational quotes with your friends. How Soon Will Jesus Arrive with the Pork Chops? by George Carlin There are 12,246 ratings with an average rating of 3.80 and 599 reviews. When Is Jesus Coming to Deliver the Pork Chops? Quotes Displaying 1-30 of 47 results. “Here’s everything you need to know about men and women: women are insane, and men are stupid.” And the most important reason why women are insane is because men are stupid.” When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

  1. They need to be more descriptive in their descriptions.
  2. Ever.
  3. Some people forget that there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound “heals,” a lasting scar is left that never completely disappears, but just gradually fades away.
  4. Hard labor, according to George Carlin’s “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” is a false expression.
  5. When someone pays you to perform something you’d prefer not be doing, this is referred to be hard labour.

“Political correctness is America’s newest kind of intolerance, and it is particularly destructive because it masquerades as tolerance.” (Source) It portrays itself as justice while also attempting to restrict and regulate people’s communication via the use of stringent norms and severe restrictions.

  1. Silencing individuals or forcing them to change their speech is not the most effective means of dealing with problems that go far deeper than their words,” I believe.
  2. “The most frustrating part about e-mail is that you are unable to interrupt the other person.” You must read the entire document and then send them an e-mail in response, pointing out all of their errors and erroneous assumptions.
  3. “May phone calls be blessed.” When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
  4. Was there anything wrong with being a bitter loser in the first place?
  5. To hell with accepting defeat graciously—for that’s chumps.
  6. ), I believe that there is as much evidence for the reality of UFOs as there is for the existence of God.

As far as UFO sightings are concerned, there have been many taped and video sightings and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, as well as documented radar evidence spotted by veteran military and civilian radar operators.” “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” asks comedian George Carlin.

  • I suppose it would depend on your definition of what constitutes the non-free world.
  • Can you help me out with this?
  • Russia?
  • For crying out loud, Russia has a more effective Mafia than we have, and China is pirating Lion King DVDs and selling dildos on the Internet.
  • Here are a few more jingoistic versions to keep an eye out for: “the greatest nation on Earth; the greatest nation in the history of the planet”; and “the most powerful nation on the face of the Earth,” to name a few examples.
  • That is, once every two years or so.” “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” asks comedian George Carlin.
  • Perhaps I will even move too far in the other way from where I am now.

You should, however, be prepared for the following set of events if you do so: The first step is for us to seize your cigarette and extinguish it someplace on the surface of your skin.

After that, we will go out of our way to find your friends and loved ones and destroy their life in a systematic manner.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Man, you’re a jerk.

Men start out as the nice thing and end up as the bad thing while still in the womb.

That’s all there is to it.

“And out we go, out into the highway in search of a little entertainment.

“One can only dream and hope,” says the author.

“The concept of ‘homemade’ is a fiction.

Methamphetamine crystals.

A nail-filled pipe bomb was detonated.

The fact that too many individuals are messing things up, committing crimes, and then moving on with their life, I believe, is one of the issues in our country.

In case I run into Joey and he decides to beat the living daylights out of me, I’m going to need my make-up.” I have to look my best!

“He’s very attentive!” I exclaim.

“If you were to get oneself cloned, who exactly would be your parents?” says the author.

I suppose that’s the case.

Consider the fact that you would be driving yourself to school by the age of six.” When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

See also:  When Did Jesus Rise From The Dead

“If I had been in charge of restructuring the government’s security agencies into a homeland defense organization, I would have split their tasks into two organizations: the Bureau of What The Fuck Was That?

“Hello.

We are the ones who make the decisions that have an impact on all of you.

You stupid will have to suffer.

In your opinion, what purpose do the cameras serve?

The Social Security numbers, what about them?

And it is not possible to modify it.

Because we have complete power over your life.

Go back to your bed.

“Most individuals have very little control over the kind of day they’re going to have.” As an example, when one person says, “Have a great day,” the other person could be thinking, “I’ve just been diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and I’m also coughing up thick black gunk.” It is likely that the well-wishers’ remarks would fall on deaf ears in this situation.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Thank you for returning. For the moment, please wait while we sign you in to YourGoodreading Account.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

I absolutely adored this book, and I have it in hardback, CD audio book, and am planning to download it in “audible” format for my ipod as well. It appears that people either adore or loathe this book, with no in-between. This is similar to the way I feel about most things. I believe that a simple “not for practicing Christians or anyone with firmly held religious convictions” label would be sufficient to resolve the issue. Overall, whether you are an atheist or simply sick of the religious right, this book is one of the funniest you will ever read in your life.

If you are a Christian with firmly held convictions, or if you are simply uncomfortable with jokes made at the expense of faiths, particularly Christianity, then please download something else and leave the Carlin to us heathens to enjoy.

My religious beliefs do not exclude me from enjoying this book, which stomped on religious beliefs, ranted, and poked fun at society in all the places you “are not allowed to make fun of/are not supposed to talk about.” It doesn’t leave any stone unturned in its pursuit of moralist hypocrisy, and it shows.

At the end of the day, it’s a collection of ideas, and if you don’t like the concepts, you won’t enjoy the book.

I’m looking forward to seeing how he tops this one!

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (Reprint) (Paperback) by George Carlin

In Regards to the Book The “New York Times” best-selling novel that takes readers on a raucous voyage within the mind of one of America’s most celebrated comedians is now available in paperback. Synopsis of the book The New York Timesbestseller that takes readers on a hilarious voyage within the mind of one of America’s finest comics creators is now available in paperback. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? is a comedy special that features George Carlin’s trademark irreverence and iconoclasm to the fullest extent.

Featuring material ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, and Other Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin On the struggle of the sexes, Carlin says: Here’s all you need to know about males and females: Women are insane, and men are oblivious.

And the most important reason why women are insane is because males are stupid.

He has also released twenty-three comedy albums, appeared in sixteen feature films, written and performed in fourteen HBO specials, received four Grammy Awards, and has been nominated for five Emmy Awards.

In 2008, he was awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which he received in recognition of his achievements. He passed away in 2008.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

2004Comedy Concepts, Inc. retains ownership of all intellectual property rights. The ISBN for this book is 1-4013-0134-7.

Chapter One

WHY AM I A Contemporary MANI’m a modern guy who is digital and smoke-free; a man who is fit for the millenium. I am a diverse, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructivist who is also politically incorrect, anatomically inaccurate, and environmentally incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, and I’ve been uplinked and downloaded again. I understand the advantages of reducing and the disadvantages of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life with a bad attitude.

  • I’m new-wave, but I’m also old-school, and my inner kid has an outward-bound attitude toward the world.
  • I communicate with my database, which is located in cyberspace; as a result, I am interactive, energetic, and, on sometimes, radioactive, depending on the situation.
  • I’m on target, on task, on message, and I’m not on any narcotics anymore.
  • I’m at the moment, on the verge of something great, yet I’m staying under the radar.
  • A street-savvy smart bomb, to be precise.
  • I wear power ties, tell power lies, take power naps, and do victory laps to demonstrate my dominance.
  • A rageaholic at work, a functioning rageaholic at work: fresh out of treatment and still in denial.

You won’t be able to silence me, and you won’t be able to dumb me down because I’m relentless and mobile.

A non-believer, an overachiever, and a laid-back and fashion-forward individual, I am myself.

Metric-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, quick-acting, oven-ready, and made to last, I am all you could want.

My emotions are strong; I’m caring; I’m healing; I’m expressing.

My production has decreased, but my revenue has increased.

I read junk mail, I consume junk food, I invest in garbage bonds, and I enjoy watching trash sports on television.

My favorite kind of sex is harsh sex, and I enjoy severe love.

The software on my hard disk, meanwhile, is hard-core, with no soft porn.

I purchased a minivan from a big-box retailer.

I’m toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear, and I’m available in a variety of colors and sizes.

The ingredients in this product have already been washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, and vacuum-packed before they reach you.

I have a limitless amount of bandwidth available to me.

This is a lean and mean operation.

Moving and drivin’, sailing and spinnin’; jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’; drivin’ and movin’, sailing and spinnin’ I don’t snooze, so I don’t have to worry about losing.

Lunchtime is a critical time for me since I’ve been partying hard.

It’s time to go.

Not all euphemisms are the same, yet they all have one thing in common: they are all euphemisms.

They do, however, exist for a variety of reasons.

For example, the phrases “white meat,” “black meat,” and “drumstick” came into usage because people in Victorian times were uncomfortable with the idea of referring to particular human parts.

It would’ve made them feel uncomfortable in any case.

Evenstomach, on the other hand, sounded too personal, so they started sayingtummy.

When I was nine years old, I became aware of the existence of euphemisms.

When my mother pointed out that Lil didn’t have a mole, she was eager to point out that she had a “beauty mark.” That perplexed me since, based on Lil’s appearance, the beauty mark didn’t appear to be functioning.

As a result, on that particular day, I noticed that what looked to be moles on some persons were actually beauty marks.

By the way, the entire beauty-mark panic was such a success that some women began routinely using eyebrow pencils to apply phony beauty marks—a “fake mole” being something no self-respecting woman would ever consider doing to themselves.

After all this time had passed since the Aunt Lil event, I just recently found solace in the fact that some people seemed to think my unsightly pimples were nothing more than minor skin imperfections.

Because nonprofit sounded too much like someone who didn’t know what they were doing, nonprofit was renamed to not-for-profit organization.

However, some of the words that are euphemized aren’t even remotely negative; rather, they’re merely considered to be too commonplace.

The phrase “Are the newspapers complimentary?” is more dignified than the phrase “Are the newspapers complimentary?” when asking the hotel clerk if the newspapers are free.

For those who would want to take a deeper look at euphemisms, there are several parts in the book that will pique your curiosity.

And I’ve dubbed it “The New Language” since it’s obviously unfamiliar to me; I’m quite aware that I didn’t grow up speaking it.

The problem began to escalate when I began to hear regular people refer to thoughts as concepts, which I believe were the first indicators of a developing problem.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY STIFF UPPER LIP?

One is a British Airways plane full with staid English diplomats and upper-class landed gentry, while the other is a private jet operated by a private company.

See also:  What A Friend We Have In Jesus Hymn

Which jet, do you think, will have the louder screams and the most colorful prayer, cursing, and blasphemy as the two planes descend toward certain destruction?

It isn’t the plane from the United Kingdom.

Does it seem like your eyes are dry and itchy?

Don’t take a chance on anything.

Call immediately.

Then, for thirty to forty minutes, aim the boiling hot steam into your eyes until they are watering.

Repetition of these steps seven times followed by a five-minute break Using this product more than fifteen times in a 24-hour period is not recommended.

Tie the pet to a chair before blasting it with the abrasive material.

Doctors have given their approval, but not eye doctors.

PLEASE GIVE ME MY PURSE.

If one of the two men is knocked down and beaten into a mental state that is only partially blank and helpless, the other is forced to stand aside and the contest is temporarily halted, while the damaged man regains just enough strength to stand up and continue the beating-to the point where he is once again lying on the floor, this time completely immobile and functionless.

  1. DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR UNTOLD UNCLE JOHN?
  2. My name is Uncle John.
  3. Do you recall your Uncle John, or do you have trouble remembering him?
  4. Wasn’t it a lot of fun?
  5. We also talked about how we hid in the sewer and how Uncle John ended up covered in feces?
  6. Do you recall what happened?
  7. As a result, sparks began to shoot from the jukebox, and a fire was sparked?

Do you remember what I’m talking about?

And what about the ambulances?

And do you recall what happened the other time?

What happened when the lion went out and ate a monkey?

Is it really necessary to kill the lion?

Wasn’t it a lot of fun?

And all of the other trapeze artists were depressed, to the point that they had to be killed as well?

Wasn’t it a lot of fun?

Please don’t shed any tears.

Isn’t that something to look forward to?

You should know that they have horses and cows as well.

Alternatively, a cow.

Isn’t that something to look forward to?

Do you remember the day you were thrown out of my car?

Do you remember that?

Was it necessary for the doctor to put your skull back together with a large needle?

Do you want to come out on my boat with me?

Have you fallen asleep yet?

Please, don’t weep any more.

My fellow citizens, I address you as co-equals, knowing that you are deserving of the full and unvarnished truth.

At that specific point in time, I was suffering from a severe despair and making blunders in my reasoning that appeared to be jeopardizing my future ambitions.

I was in desperate need of a fresh start, so I decided to make a social visit to a close acquaintance with whom I share same goals and who happens to be one of the most interesting people I have ever encountered.

In response to my repeated insistence that I needed a fresh start, she agreed that I was correct, and she went on to provide a final solution that was completely wonderful.

What a brilliant piece of ingenuity!

Right soon, I observed a significant improvement in my condition.

THE MAN WITH THE CONTROL FREAK SHello.

We are the ones who make the decisions that have an impact on all of you.

You stupid will have to suffer.

In your opinion, what purpose do the cameras serve?

The Social Security numbers, what about them?

And it is not possible to modify it.

Because we have complete power over your life.

Go back to your bed.

This is especially true given the fact that the latter belief applies to the entire Jesus-Messiah-Son-of-God fable.

This is an attempt to diminish and marginalize them by relegating them to the status of hobbyists and mere enthusiasts.

Those who believe in an everlasting, all-powerful being, a being that demands to be loved and cherished unconditionally and who punishes and rewards people according to his whims, on the other hand, are considered to be honorable, upright, and credible individuals.

Continues.

byGEORGE CARLIN is an excerpt from the book.

owns the copyright to this work.

All intellectual property rights are retained.

The publisher has granted permission for this excerpt to be reproduced or reprinted in its entirety without written permission from the author. Unless otherwise specified, excerpts from this website are offered purely for the personal use of users to this website by Dial-A-Book Inc.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin (2004, Hardcover) for sale online

  • The consummate thinkers’ comedian, George Carlin takes everyday nomenclature, situations, idioms, political correctness, names, surnames, race, religion, sex, oddities, weird observations, crime, deviants, bodily functions, sores, scabs, lice, the animal kingdom, Presidents, war, laughter, snot, bad words, the Federal Communications Commission, the IRS, the FBI, the CIA, the boredom of golf, homelessness, world When it comes to making amusing remarks, George Carlin has the upper hand. I now own all of his published works as a result of this purchase. My experience with E-Bay has been really gratifying thus far, and I like the fact that you have included SKYPE into your site. I am, BookSmartCharlie, signing this letter.

Carlin not at his best in this one

  • I am a tremendous fan of George and his content, both written and live, and I think he is brilliant. However, I have to admit that this book did not live up to his previous two, which I feel were very witty and raw—two characteristics that helped him stand out during the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s—and I believe this book did not. Some of the content you’ll discover in this book is undeniably amusing, but I have the impression that it was leftover material from his earlier work. I’m not saying don’t buy—just don’t be surprised if they aren’t as amusing as his past work, which isn’t much. His one-liners, I feel, are sometimes his best work, and gold by that definition, as in “When will Jesus come the pork chops?”. My impression is that he is attempting very hard to target specific demographics, and the laugh is at most only a giggle at times
  • Nevertheless, I am accustomed to breaking out in intense laughter, which is not the case here

Carlin’s Irreverent, Literate, Humor Is Ginsu Sharp

  • In the words of Mark Twain, “The hidden source of humor itself is not joy, but pain,” and George Carlin shows Twain’s thesis by analyzing where difficulty comes from and why the world is such a bad place in his trademark style. While most comedians attempt to skewer their targets with ice pick wit, Carlin employs a meat ax. Through the use of a straightforward manner, Carlin walks his readers through the murky realm of language, which is a far worse joke than anything he could think up himself. His opening verbal slavo is worth the price of the entire book on its own merits alone. Carlin enjoys writing about insurrections, stupidities, political crises, civil upheavals, and other acts of human foolishness for the sheer enjoyment of writing about them. Carlin’s creative talent pours from every page of this book, which is hilarious from beginning to end. While his audacious, irreverent comedy is not for the faint of heart, it is a feast for the adventurous and adventurous at heart. Read the entire review

Nice read

  • George Carlin’s creative, eccentric imagination shows through in this performance. If you enjoy delving into the fundamentals of language and human thought, this is the book you should read. It was his way of telling stories that, when you finished listening to him, you thought to yourself, “I knew that, but he says it funnier.” I’m recommending this book to others so that they, too, can have a good laugh while thinking a little more deeply
  • 5 stars out of 5 for this product sbyasordia 12th of September, 2006

EXTREMELY FUNNY FROM AN EXTREMLY FUNNY MAN!

  • This book, in my honest opinion, is Carlin’s greatest work to this point. I’ve read all of George’s novels and think he’s not only funny, but also a genuine creative genius who deserves to be recognized. From the beginning to the end, it was just hilarious! This book is a journey into the depths of Carlin’s mind, which is truly one-of-a-kind in the world! Outrageous, insane, obnoxious, obscene, rediculous, and very amusing all at the same time! This is George Carlin at his very finest! After reading this book, you will most likely become a fan of the author

When will Jesus bring the pork chops? (Book, 2004) [WorldCat.org]

Genre/Form: Humorous plays Nonfiction Comedy plays Humor Humorous fiction
Additional Physical Format: Online version: Carlin, George. When will Jesus bring the pork chops? New York: Hyperion, ©2004 (OCoLC)607728462
Document Type: Book
All Authors / Contributors: George Carlin
ISBN: 1401301347 9781401301347 9781401308216 140130821X
OCLC Number: 56611832
Description: 295 pages: illustrations; 21 cm
Responsibility: George Carlin.
More information:
  • Biographical information about the contributors
  • A description of the publisher

Abstract:

This book is a compilation of sarcastic comedy in which the author shares his views of and comments on modern life’s faults and follies, including issues such as media, gender roles and battle of the exes, cleanliness, evasive language, and politics.

Nonfiction Book Review: WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? by George Carlin, Author . Hyperion $23.95 (320p) ISBN 978-1-4013-0134-7

After releasing his bestselling book Napalm Silly Putty in 2001, stand-up comedian, TV writer, and actor Carlin continues to grow louder, angrier, and more inventive with each passing year. Following the release of Napalm Silly Putty, Carlin fires off searing satires, biting social commentary, and oblique one-liners in all directions. In a series of tense, jumpy phrases, he takes aim at Diane Sawyer’s news delivery, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, dopey athletes, and ruthless capitalists.

  • “), but righteous outrage (“The energy criminals now refer to oil drilling as oil exploration.”) also makes an appearance.
  • The mini-essays are based on some bizarre observations (“Wouldn’t it be strange if they just buried you alive when you were sixty-five?”) that serve as springboards for the main pieces.
  • From the grammar of corporate rebranding (Patagonian tooth fish becomes Chilean sea bass) to the ethics of public speaking (Patagonian tooth fish becomes Chilean sea bass), everything is covered “Leader of the free world, in other words.
  • (12th of October) Observation: Carlin’s first novel, Brain Droppings, went more than 40 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list; Napalm didn’t quite match that, but it wasn’t bad either.
  • On the 20th of September, 2004, it was reviewed.
  • 320 pages in an open ebook format ISBN 978-1-4013-8171-4 (hardcover) 978-1-4013-8707-5 is the ISBN for the ebook.
  • – 978-1-4013-8172-1 – 978-1-4013-8172-1 Book in paperback (ISBN 978-0-7868-9664-6) Publisher: Peanut Press/Palm Reader, ISBN: 978-1-4013-8173-8 The ISBN for the Analog Audio Cassette is 978-1-4013-9915-3.

The ISBN for the book is 978-1-4013-817-7. Compact Disc (ISBN 978-1-4159-1322-2) – Ebook with 190 pages available for free download. This item has the ISBN 978-0-316-29120-0. Other file types should be shown. FORMATS

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin

Members Reviews Popularity Average rating Mentions
1,799 41 7,430 (3.57) 27
“Infused with Carlin’s trademark irreverent humor and acerbic cultural observations, WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? offers an opinion on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians, to the media to dead people. The thinking person’s comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? About the battle of the sexes, he asserts that all one needs to know about men and women is that women are crazy, and men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin’s razor-sharp observations will leave you laughing out loud” – container. … (more)

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“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”—HERMANN GÖRING AT THE NUREMBERG TRIALS”All tears are the same.”—IRISH WOMAN”So little time. So little to do.”—OSCAR LEVANT”The main obligation is to amuse yourself.”—S. J. PERELMAN”Today’s another day. Time to play.”—SALLY WADE
This book is dedicated to my amazing daughter, Kelly: keeper of the sacred DNA, citizen of the universe, and one of America’s few really good Buddhist poker players.
PrefaceI’m an outsider by choice, but not truly.Since this book comes out in the fall, I’d like to take advantage of this early opportunity to wish all of you an enjoyable Christmas season and a happy New Year filled with good fortune. (George’s Holiday Message)I’m a modern man, digital and smoke-free;a man for the millennium.

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Wikipedia in English (2)

Descriptions of books “WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? is a comedy special infused with Carlin’s usual scathing humor and sharp cultural observations. provides commentary on anything from evasive euphemism language and politicians to the media and the lives of those who have died. Carlin, the comic for the thinking person who wields words as weapons, gives voice to subjects that are now capturing the public’s mind. For example, what is the significance of the Ten Commandments? Is it true that UFOs exist?

Specifically, he claims that all that one has to know about men and women is that women are insane and males are foolish when it comes to the fight of the sexes.

Carlin’s razor-sharp remarks will have you laughing so hard you’ll be crying with laughter.” – a container of some sort.

▾ description provided by LibraryThing members

George Carlin’s legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises.

When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? 140130821x

Synopsys Now in paperback, theNew York Timesbestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America’s premier comicsGeorge Carlin’s legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display inWhen Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichés; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises.Carlin on the battle of the sexes:Here’s all you have to know about men and women:Women are crazy, men are stupid.And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin, author of three bestsellers, has released 18 comedy albums; appeared in 11 feature films; written and performed 12 HBO comedy specials; and received four Grammy awards, six Cable Ace awards, and been nominated for four Emmys.

In 2000, he was honored for Lifetime Achievement by the American Comedy Awards.

Publishers Weekly

There’s no better way to enjoy one of Carlin’s books than to hear him read it himself. With his gravelly voice, Carlin sounds like a foul-mouthed, grumpy grandfather as he riffs on everything from politics and the improper use of language to plane-boarding etiquette and the differences between the sexes. He’s alternately crude (Every evening at seven-thirty, citizens and consumers get a chance to sound off and air their complaints. Don’t miss Blow It Out Your Ass!.) and outrageously funny (such as when he compares people of faith to UFO believers), and he’s always irreverent (A children’s museum sounds like a good idea, but I would imagine it’s not very easy to breathe inside the little glass cases).

Not anymore.

It’s so much nicer for them.

His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits (Hah?

Maybe?) and enhanced by his deft vocal variation (such as when he’s narrating the Continuing Story of MaryJoseph), making listeners will feel as if they’ve got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows.

20).

Overview Now in paperback, theNew York Timesbestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America’s premier comics George Carlin’s legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display inWhen Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chopsas he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller.

And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Dimensions Height: 9 Inches, Length: 6 Inches, Weight: 0.69666074792 Pounds, Width: 0.8 Inches Title When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

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